Dealing With Grief

By Ann: Grief is a normal response to loss due to death, divorce, illness, retirement, loss of a job, an animal, a child leaving home and even the loss of a home. Grieving can last from 6 months to 2 years and it is a process necessary to go through for healing the mind and body.

Grief relates to our thoughts and feelings and mourning relates to how we show grief to the public, and if helps to write down your thoughts, talk to people, take time for yourself, and seeking professional help. With the loss of a loved one everyone grieves differently. Crying is a good way to release stress and preserving memories are very important, so you don’t suppress your feelings and let your grief run its natural course.

Your loss is personal to you, so don’t feel ashamed about how you feel, or believe that it’s somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things. It’s normal to grieve the loss you’re experiencing. Whatever the cause of your grief, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and eventually move on with your life.

Waves of intense and difficult emotions, from profound sadness, emptiness, and despair to shock, numbness, guilt, or regret. You may be angry at the circumstances of your loved one’s death or focus your anger on yourself, doctors, other loved ones, or God. You may even find it difficult to accept the person is really gone, or struggle to see how you can ever recover and move on from your loss. Grief rituals are a way to deal with your grief such as having a flower release. Write a message to your special person that died and attach it to a flower then released into a moving body of water. It is symbolic of moving on and is a time of great meaning and purpose for all in attendance.

Rituals are vehicles for transformation of meaning. Any act done with intention that transforms meaning can be a ritual. Rituals often have secular and/or spiritual dimensions. They mark significant events in our lives such as weddings, births, confirmations, graduations and deaths. In grief, rituals are an important part of the healing process. Rituals provide order to the chaos of grief. They usually involve candles, food, a special space, or place. Rituals have a beginning, a middle and an end. They speak to our hearts and validate our emotions while forcing us to focus on the present.

Rituals create bridges for moving from one adjustment to another. From spouse to widow or from child to orphan, rituals can help with the transition. Anything that has special meaning to us may be part of our mourning ritual, from displaying photographs to bringing flowers to the grave. Again, any act done with intention can be a ritual. It’s about the intention not just going through the motions that helps with the healing process. Other rituals can be with butterflied, balloons, stories, planting trees, wearing a beloved one’s favorite clothing item, design a shrine, make a memory quilt or teddy bear, keep a journal, lighting candles, write a letter and helping others.

Expressing your emotions is not a taboo and people need to express themselves and grief rituals are a way of doing this and helping children and adults adjust to changes. Keeping memories and photos in a special box is another way to help because you can go to those memories any time you feel the need and have them close to you and not tucked away and forgotten.
  
Love and light

Ann